All reactions to my sewing projects have been overtly positive. In many cases I think the reactions are also covertly positive. However, there are cases where I have to constantly second-guess myself because the connotations of what is said in Japanese (because these conversations are always in Japanese) are not necessarily completely kosher by Western standards, and I have to check myself to make sure I'm not being oversensitive. For example, the most common reaction to my embroidery has been "There's also embroidery in foreign lands???" 「外国にも刺繍があるの？！」And you know, on some basic level this makes me bristle a little bit. It's not because of the question as much as the way it's delivered. There's a big difference, in my mind, between "Oh, I didn't know embroidery was popular in your country as well," and the incredibly theatrical "You sew things in foreign countries, too??" The latter phrase is almost always accompanied by flailing hands and dramatically widened eyes, as if the very concept of sewing in a country outside of Japan or China is just too crazy for words.
There are extenuating circumstances, of course. The question is usually being used as a conversation opener, so the ignorance professed is quite likely exaggerated in order to facilitate ease of communication. There's a good chance the person asking has no personal interest in embroidery and thus they wouldn't know anything about it anyway. I had a great conversation with one principal about the Silk Road and how it brought culture back and forth between China and Egypt that started because he didn't know that embroidery existed outside of China. He used to be a history teacher, and he excitedly lectured me about how important it is to know where things originate, because you can't truly get a complete picture of the world without seeing those primal connections. So while the opening question seemed quite narrow-minded the following conversation and the individual in question were anything but.
The investment of my coworkers in my projects is very heartening. It depends on the school, of course, but it occasionally feels like my coworkers are actually cheering me on, encouraging me to do my best and not give up. The staff at the concrete jungle is especially warm. Just the other day I brought my almost finished fish bag there and the secretary pretty much stole it from me to tote it around the teacher's room and show it off. They practically had kittens. Later that day when I was on my way out to go to elementary school the principal himself came running out to wish me luck on my fish bag. I was really feeling the love. Unfortunately, I was also feeling the awkward.
Say hello to the Dancing Bear Factor and the Compliments Are Complicated Factor.
I worry that the reason they're being so nice is because I'm like a dancing bear. Oh look, the foreigner learned a new trick! Everyone look, the foreigner is doing something! I think most foreigners in Japan are often treated like this in terms of mundane tasks. Again, usually it's in order to start a conversation. Oh, look, you can use chopsticks! Oh, look, you're eating Japanese food! Oh, look, you can make a phone call in Japanese! I've even gotten complimented on my ability to read a book in English, which, uh, yeah. Usually I can take the comments in the spirit they're given, but sometimes the possible racist undertone starts to get to me.
It especially starts to get to me when the compliments roll out, because the most common compliment I've been getting lately is "oh, you're so Japanese" with the implication that Japanese is positive and foreign is negative. When I showed up on time to an event I was complimented as being Japanese. When I downplay my sewing (because honestly, I've only been doing it for a couple of months and I'm not that good) I'm told how Japanese I am. When I mention that a student has gotten much more confident compared to how shy he was last year I hear "oh, you remembered how that kid was last year, how Japanese!" Again, I can usually accept the spirit behind the compliment, which is sincere. My coworkers are all wonderful people and I've really lucked out by having such a positive work situation filled with such friendly, open-minded people.
But sometimes it's difficult hearing that undertone. Foreigners are late; Japanese people are punctual. Foreigners are rude; Japanese people are polite. Foreigners are selfish and don't care about other people; Japanese people are always considering the other person and never put themselves first. All good traits belong to Japan and all negative traits belong to foreign countries. I don't mind five year old kids pointing at me and saying "It's a foreigner!" 「外人だ！」They're little kids and they don't know any better. I have a slightly harder time when the offender is a grown adult.
No comments:
Post a Comment